Experts Warn Americans Not To Think Too Hard — Critical Thinking Now Considered a Threat to Public Harmony
A coalition of national experts issued a public advisory this week warning Americans to avoid critical thinking unless supervised by
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Wednesday, May 13, 2026
Latest:
- Experts Warn Saying ‘Good Job’ Creates Unfair Performance Expectations
- Neighborhood Declares Curfews ‘Authoritarian’ — Teens Now Governed by Vibes
- Nationwide Study Finds Most Adults Are Just Exhausted From Pretending This All Makes Sense
- City Renames ‘Failure’ as ‘Pre-Success’ to Improve Morale
- Museum Removes Historical Timeline — Visitors Free to Experience the Past in Any Order They Feel
Daily Quacks
Streaming Service Introduces ‘Trigger Warning’ Before Ads — But Not For Content, For You Accidentally Buying Something
Streaming platform ViewWave+ announced a groundbreaking new safety feature this week: Trigger Warnings before every advertisement — not because the
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Local Child Surprised to Learn Her Friends Are Now Adults Because Schools Changed Grades to ‘Feelings Levels’
Chaos erupted at Meadowbrook Elementary this week after eight-year-old student Lily Marsh discovered that her classmates were suddenly considered adults
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Major CEO Says His Company Is ‘Fully Anti-Woke’ — Employees Rejoice, Cancelled Coffee Table Now Worth $5 Billion
Wall Street was sent into euphoria this week after TitanTech CEO Brock Ironwell boldly announced that his company is now
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School Bans History — Students Now Required to Learn Feelings Instead of Facts
In a bold step toward shaping the most emotionally well-lubricated generation in human history, Chestnut Valley Unified School District announced
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Comedy Declared Illegal After Citizen Laughs Without First Filing Sensitivity Request Form
In a historic step toward achieving a humor-free utopia, federal regulators announced this week that comedy has officially been declared
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Society Decides Children Mature Enough For Adult Themes, But Not Enough To Skip Bedtime
In a move that experts are calling “bold, confusing, and possibly the result of too much soy in the national
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