Local Man Apologizes for Being Right—Community Still Offended
Tone cited as the real crime. A local man issued a public apology this week after being accused of wrongdoing
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Wednesday, May 13, 2026
Latest:
- Experts Warn Saying ‘Good Job’ Creates Unfair Performance Expectations
- Neighborhood Declares Curfews ‘Authoritarian’ — Teens Now Governed by Vibes
- Nationwide Study Finds Most Adults Are Just Exhausted From Pretending This All Makes Sense
- City Renames ‘Failure’ as ‘Pre-Success’ to Improve Morale
- Museum Removes Historical Timeline — Visitors Free to Experience the Past in Any Order They Feel
Trending Quacks
New App Alerts Users When They’re About to Have a Thought Outside Approved Narratives
Tech startup MindGuard™ unveiled a groundbreaking new app this week designed to alert users just before they think something unapproved.
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City Removes Benches Because Sitting Encourages ‘Problematic Stillness’
In a bold step toward eliminating all unsupervised thinking, the city of New Harmony Springs announced this week that it
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Activists Demand Removal of Sunlight Because It ‘Excludes the Nocturnally Inclined’
A coalition of progressive activists has filed a petition demanding the city reduce or eliminate natural sunlight, arguing that sunlight
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Man Complains He Can’t Smile Without Offending Someone — Town Declares Grinning Illegal Until Further Notice
Residents of Harmony Falls were stunned this week after the town council officially banned smiling following a complaint that one
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Activists Declare Ice Cream Cone ‘Culturally Insensitive’ Because It Has a Cone Shape — Government Issues Warning Memo
The nation entered its 27th food-related meltdown of the month after activist group Citizens for Ethical Dessert Geometry announced that
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Experts Confirm TikTok Star With Purple Hair Knows Your Child Better Than You Do
In a groundbreaking development sure to reshape the future of parenting, leading social scientists announced this week that a 19-year-old
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