Wednesday, May 13, 2026
Latest:
- Experts Warn Saying ‘Good Job’ Creates Unfair Performance Expectations
- Neighborhood Declares Curfews ‘Authoritarian’ — Teens Now Governed by Vibes
- Nationwide Study Finds Most Adults Are Just Exhausted From Pretending This All Makes Sense
- City Renames ‘Failure’ as ‘Pre-Success’ to Improve Morale
- Museum Removes Historical Timeline — Visitors Free to Experience the Past in Any Order They Feel
Polling Shows Majority Afraid to Speak—Experts Call It ‘Progress’
Fear rebranded as empathy. A new national poll reveals that most citizens now hesitate to share their opinions publicly—a milestone
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Statue Removed for Standing Too Confidently
Posture deemed historically aggressive. City officials announced today the removal of a longstanding public statue after experts determined that its
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Workplace Diversity Training Teaches Employees How to Think Without Thinking
Independent thought listed as an optional hazard. Corporate diversity training has entered a bold new phase, shifting its focus from
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Freedom of Speech Expanded—As Long As You Say the Approved Things
Silence encouraged for personal growth. In a historic victory for free expression, officials have proudly announced that freedom of speech
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New Math Curriculum Eliminates Wrong Answers to Preserve Student Confidence
2 + 2 identifies as ‘about 5.’ In an effort to make mathematics more inclusive, a new national curriculum has
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Parents Advised to Stop Raising Children, Start ‘Consulting’ Them Instead
Bedtimes now crowdsourced. In a major shift in family dynamics, parenting experts are now advising adults to stop raising their
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Local Man Apologizes for Being Right—Community Still Offended
Tone cited as the real crime. A local man issued a public apology this week after being accused of wrongdoing
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Study Finds Hard Work Causes Inequality—Laziness Declared a Protected Condition
Participation trophies issued retroactively. In a groundbreaking new study that bravely confirms what no one working believed, researchers have concluded
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Experts Warn: Common Sense Now Considered a Gateway Belief
Early symptoms include asking follow-up questions. In a startling new development, experts are warning that common sense may be the
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