Activists Demand Removal of Sunlight Because It ‘Excludes the Nocturnally Inclined’

A coalition of progressive activists has filed a petition demanding the city reduce or eliminate natural sunlight, arguing that sunlight unfairly privileges daytime people and excludes those who identify as nocturnally inclined.

“We live in a society where the sun shines without consent,” said activist leader Luna Shadowbrook during a rally held at noon—an act she called “a necessary protest of courage.” “Daylight discriminates against those who thrive in darkness, quiet loneliness, or mood lighting.”

The petition calls sunlight an “oppressive sky system” that:

• Imposes visually bright expectations
  
• Forces people into daytime productivity
  
• Encourages morning routines (described as “toxic”)
  
• Causes shadows without permission
  
• Fails to represent nocturnal identities
  

Shadowbrook insists the goal isn’t to eliminate sunlight entirely—just to “dim it down to an inclusive glow” that doesn’t trigger anyone’s circadian rhythms without emotional preparation.

Activists propose the city install massive sky filters, reducing the brightness of the sun to a soft lavender haze that “affirms all lifestyles.” Early renderings show the city under what resembles permanent Instagram lighting.

Some residents expressed concern.

“I just want to see where I’m going,” said construction worker Frank Dalton. “Last week they covered a streetlamp because it was ‘too awake.’ Now they want to put sunglasses on the entire sky?”

Shadowbrook disagreed. “People talk about the sun being vital for life. But what about the life of the nocturnally oriented? What about those who identify as moon-based beings? Daylight erases their journey.”

City officials haven’t dismissed the petition and have promised to study its environmental, emotional, and astrological impacts.

Scientists warn that dimming the sun could lead to massive crop failure, energy shortages, and ecosystem collapse.
Activists responded that “science is important, but not as important as feelings.”

As of press time, the coalition announced their next campaign:
demanding the moon rotate more fairly so all sides of Earth receive equal lunar attention.

 As always…Because someone has to say it.

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