Pantone Announces ‘Cloud White’ as Color of the Year — Activists Immediately Declare It Racist
Pantone, the global authority on color, unveiled its highly anticipated Color of the Year this week: a soft, airy shade called Cloud White — a hue the company describes as “clean, calm, timeless, and universally comforting.”
Within minutes, activists described it as “chromatically violent.”
“What were they thinking?” demanded spokesperson Nova Shadewheel of the Coalition for Ethical Color Usage. “A white color? In this economy? Pantone is clearly signaling their alignment with centuries of chromatic oppression. This is not just a color — this is a microaggression in pigment form.”
Social media erupted with outrage as users insisted Cloud White carries “historical baggage,” “problematic luminosity,” and a “privilege-based undertone.” Several accused the shade of perpetuating inequity, noting that white paint often costs slightly less than designer specialty colors — “a systemic issue.”
Pantone attempted to clarify that Cloud White has no political meaning and was chosen to symbolize peace, simplicity, and renewal.
Critics rejected this explanation immediately.
“When companies say ‘simple,’ they erase the lived experience of people who prefer complexity,” said diversity chromaticist Dr. Iris Spectrum. “And when they say ‘peace,’ they erase the lived experience of people who are currently upset about colors.”
Several activist groups demanded Pantone withdraw the color and replace it with something more “inclusive,” offering alternatives such as:
- Equity Gray
- Community Beige
- Emotional Support Mauve
- Collective Taupe
- No-Color Color (for safety)
One coalition even suggested a new official palette where all colors must share the same tone so none feels brighter than another.
In downtown Portland, protestors gathered holding signs reading “DOWN WITH WHITE LIGHT WAVES” and “RAINBOWS ARE A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT.” A small but passionate group demanded the sky also be reconsidered, calling the presence of white clouds “triggering.”
Meanwhile, Pantone remained bewildered.
“We just picked a color,” said Pantone Chief Creative Officer Elliot Shadeford. “Last year everyone was mad we picked magenta for being ‘too happy.’ At some point, we may have to rename ourselves to the Bureau of Emotional Compliance.”
As of press time, activists were drafting a petition urging Congress to ban snow until it can be dyed something less offensive.
As always…Because someone has to say it.
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