New App Alerts Users When They’re About to Have a Thought Outside Approved Narratives
Tech startup MindGuard™ unveiled a groundbreaking new app this week designed to alert users just before they think something unapproved.
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Wednesday, May 13, 2026
Latest:
- Experts Warn Saying ‘Good Job’ Creates Unfair Performance Expectations
- Neighborhood Declares Curfews ‘Authoritarian’ — Teens Now Governed by Vibes
- Nationwide Study Finds Most Adults Are Just Exhausted From Pretending This All Makes Sense
- City Renames ‘Failure’ as ‘Pre-Success’ to Improve Morale
- Museum Removes Historical Timeline — Visitors Free to Experience the Past in Any Order They Feel
Author: Dan Smith
New Study Finds Discipline Causes Trauma; Chaos Officially Declared a Learning Style
A groundbreaking new study released this week by the National Institute for Progressive Education has concluded that discipline is traumatic,
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Experts Warn Eye Contact Is ‘Aggressive’ — Americans Encouraged to Stare at Phones Instead
A coalition of behavioral experts issued a nationwide advisory this week warning that eye contact is now considered aggressive, emotionally
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Parents Told Not To Use Words Like ‘No,’ ‘Stop,’ or ‘Please Stop Destroying the Furniture’
In what child development experts are calling “a bold new experiment in household chaos,” parents nationwide are being advised to
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Employer Introduces ‘Emotionally Safe Deadlines’ — Projects Now Due Whenever You Feel Ready, or Never
In what business leaders are calling the final nail in productivity’s coffin, marketing firm BrightNest Solutions announced this week it
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New Law Requires Pets To Consent Verbally Before Being Walked — Owners Unsure How To Proceed
Pet owners across the city were thrown into immediate confusion this week after lawmakers passed the nation’s first-ever Verbal Animal
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Study Finds 97% of Offense Comes From People Looking For Something to Be Offended By
A groundbreaking new study released by the Institute of Social Sensitivity has revealed that 97% of all modern offense is
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Local Child Surprised to Learn Her Friends Are Now Adults Because Schools Changed Grades to ‘Feelings Levels’
Chaos erupted at Meadowbrook Elementary this week after eight-year-old student Lily Marsh discovered that her classmates were suddenly considered adults
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Portland Unveils 75-Foot Christmas Tree, Immediately Insists It’s Not a Christmas Tree — Just ‘The Tree’
Portland, Oregon kicked off the holiday season this week with the ceremonial lighting of a 75-foot-tall Christmas tree — though
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Major CEO Says His Company Is ‘Fully Anti-Woke’ — Employees Rejoice, Cancelled Coffee Table Now Worth $5 Billion
Wall Street was sent into euphoria this week after TitanTech CEO Brock Ironwell boldly announced that his company is now
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